You, Me, & Siri? – Cell Phone Etiquette for the New “Three Way”
Do you look forward to time alone with your partner, only to find when you try to cozy up – he goes for a three-way – with him, you, and his PHONE? Three-ways are famous for breaking up relationships and this is especially true if your phone is the “other woman.”
Technology makes finding a partner easy, but MUCH more difficult to connect with your partner once you are actually in a relationship. Cell phone distraction makes partners feel “second best.” According to new research, (“Phubbing,” when you snub your partner with by favoring your phone) can lead to relationship anxiety and increased conflict. Don’t let a smartphone dumb-down your relationship.
These 5 relationship tips will ensure that the “signals” stay strong and the “connection” never drops.
“Phone-down – Eyes-up”
What’s more important than assuming this position? Facing your phone down during meal times and dates is a good start. Making eye contact is even better. This way you can look at each other and not be distracted by flashing light … only fireworks. This tip is great for the person that is not strong enough yet to leave their phone in their bag or car. This communicates to your partner I am present with you right now.
Develop A Digital Curfew
Deciding on a “phone-off” policy is a great way to have a wind-down routine with your partner. Otherwise you are close by proximity, but emotionally distant in the evenings. How much time do you spend a day looking at your phone compared to connecting one to one with your partner?
Darling May I?
Do you mind if I get this? When was the last time your partner asked you this? Hasn’t technology made us become rude? Asking first communicates respect for your partner. More important, you shouldn’t spend any more time on the call or text than you would on a bathroom break.
Experiment – what happens if we put it aside?
If you have “nomophobia” and are afraid to separate from your phone – construct an experiment. Try 2 days of you both turning your phone off or upside down (at least). See how difficult it is and the results you get. Then, try 2 days of being on your phone frequently in from of your partner. Text and take calls while in conversation with them. Assess the results and see what you find. In which experiments did you enjoy more or feel closer?
Engage “In The Present”
Develop routines that you do together where cellphones are banned. Many couples today just “hang out” when at home or on a date. For example, in the evening, have specific wind-down plans like tea and talking, planning future events, playing a board game, or heck, have sex!
A three-way may seem fun in the moment, but they end in hurt. If you or your partner bring their phone into the relationship it is likely preventing the two of you from having the closeness and true intimacy that you can have. Experiment with these relationship tips and decide for yourself if this “menage a trois” is worth it!
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