Independence or Autonomous Day?
Well it is July 4th and here in the US we are celebrating our independence.
Our culture as a whole promotes this idea of the “Strong man” or the “Strong woman” that can do it all! How healthy is “independence?”
When one is independent there is an inference that they need to 1) Make their own decisions, and 2) Do not need others’ opinions to operate in the world. For example, a child (of any age) may tell her parents, “I don’t need you to tell me________, I know how to _________.” At work, you may be irritated if your boss or colleagues give you input on what they think you should do on a particular project. Getting yourself upset or agitated by others’ feedback and suggestions because you are able to be “independent” is an adult form of tantruming to the world that I AM CAPABLE and YOU MUST BELIEVE IT!”
An autonomous person is actually comfortable listening to or seeking out different options and advice on things because at the end of the day they will make the decision that they believe in. They do not see feedback and opinions as threatening, but as information that may or may not be helpful. They may respond back to other’s advice or opinions with “I will take that into consideration.” or “That makes sense.” or they may simply thank the person for their feedback without argument or protest.
When you disagree with someone’s advice or feedback – see if you can look for a part of it that you DO agree with and let them know with or without stating your dispute. – Then you will be able to celebrate your autonomy day as well!